Legends and Heroes
by Danaye
Summary: That conversation we never saw between Jon and Alanna after their "fight" in The First Test over Kel. Oneshot. Small bit of A/G at the end.


**A/N: **

**So this has a lot of Alanna stopping Jon from interrupting her…You Go Girl. Anyway, gah, there was way too much to explore here that I had trouble keeping track of ideas. I wanted to explore how Alanna felt about the Goddess's interference with her life and the fact that Alanna probably would have died without the Goddess. That doesn't make her less of a hero, she was just able to do greater deeds. She was able to do what others couldn't even dream of. It was hard to compare her and Kel, although I'm sure the both of them did that often. Kel and Alanna have different personalities to start with, but if you take that away, Kel's type of accomplishments might be the type that Alanna had if she hadn't had the Goddess's hand on her. Both women are heroes, just different sorts…as Raoul explained in Squire.**

_"At our level, there are four kinds of warrior,' he told Kel. He raised a fist and held up one large finger. 'Heroes, like Alanna the Lioness. Warriors who find dark places and fight in them alone..." - Raoul, Squire_

**So I decided to briefly touch on that here and then possibly go more in depth in Kel's POV in her chapter in my story, Musings. That should be up soon. Enough of my ranting. Enjoy. **

* * *

It was a rare break in a time filled with war and troubles. The group, sitting at a large table at Pirate's Swoop, chatted happily about mundane things. Not a word about borders or battles was exchanged, but there was still a palpable tension in the room between two particular people. It had been about two years since Alanna had seen or spoken to her King since she stormed out of his office. Glances between George and Raoul were exchanged towards the end of the meal and almost as if planned, everyone slowly trickled out until it was just Jonathan, Alanna, and George. The Baron of Pirate's Swoop put a comforting hand on his wife's shoulder and then waltzed out the door, whistling. Alanna frowned and got up to follow, but Jon motioned for her to stay._ Well, he _is_ the King, but this is _my _house! _Alanna thought fiercely. She rearranged her stance into a modified fighting stance, one she often assumed during verbal spars. There was a tense silence that permeated the room. All of a sudden they both started to speak at once.

"Alanna, I-"

"Look, Jon-"

They both paused and tried once more.

"I know we haven't talk-"

"I've been inconsiderate-"

Pausing once more, the King's eyes betrayed his amusement. Alanna managed a weak smile and her stance relaxed considerably. Jon motioned for her to go first.

The King's Champion sighed, "I'll get straight to the point."

"You always do." Jon said dryly, before she could continue.

Alanna ignored him purposefully, "If things were fair, Kel wouldn't have to learn some things the hard way. The boys have older knights to talk to them, but I'm the only person alive who knows the problems with being a Lady Knight. With having weaker shoulders and monthlies and-"

She paused, realizing she was starting to rant and Jon seemed to only grow more amused. "Anyway, the gods-cursed conservatives would throw a fit if I so much as come within two feet of her. Not to mention the fact that you, yourself, forbid me from having contact with her."

She sent a resentful glare in Jon's direction. He began to speak, but she held up a hand and continued, "It's like nothing has changed since I became a knight…until now. Forgive me for wanting to be a part of that change."

Jon shook his head as if confused. "_Everything_ changed when you became a knight. Things started changing the moment you stepped foot into the pages' ward. You stood up to Ralon of Malven your first day."

She let out a harsh laugh, "I've always caused more controversy than change. People confuse the two once in a while. _I_ know the difference."

Alanna cast her eyes to the floor in an uncharacteristic show of shame. "No matter how many times I prove myself, someone will always say that it's because I used magic or had the hand of the Goddess on me. Kel has the chance to be everything I never could. She can make people swallow their words when all I did was anger them more."

Jon went to interrupt her but she finally cast her gaze up once more, resolutely. "Little girls look at me and see a mage and a chosen of the Goddess. I'm a legend, something that's never been quite completely believable. Kel will be a hero. Little girls will look at her and see someone they could grow up to be."

He furrowed his brow. She took one look and knew he was debating whether or not to open his mouth, lest he tempt her anger. "Just say it, Jon."

Gently, he asked, "Are you bitter?"

Without thinking she said, "Bitter? No. Envious? A little. Maybe, in this case, they're one in the same."

Alanna's face grew hot as he stared at her. She rarely felt vulnerable. But now, with all the feelings that had plagued her for the past year laid bare before him, she felt naked. It was like being in the Black City when the Ysandir exposed her secret. He could either spurn her or accept her. She had no control, and that scared her. Then, suddenly, his arms were around her, pulling her into a tight hug. They stayed there for a moment, his chin resting on her head and her cheek against his chest. When they pulled apart he put one hand on her shoulder and the other under her chin. He tilted her face up until violet eyes met sapphire ones. She was surprised by the intense look in his eyes. She knew whatever he was about to say would be the honest truth.

"Lioness, controversy almost always comes before change. Someone had to be brave enough to do what had to be done and strong enough to endure the storm that followed. No one else could've done what you did and continue to do, Alanna. _No one."_

He offered a crooked smile that looked eerily like one George always had on his face. "Not even Keladry of Mindelan." She was about to protest but he continued, "She's a brave girl, but she's not insane enough to parade around as a boy for eight years or confront gods and elementals…in their own territory, I might add. I've been told that the insanity in the family was passed down to you."

She blushed and admitted, "Well, I've certainly done nothing to discourage that opinion of me."

He laughed and then settled into a more serious expression. "There would be no heroes without legends. Legends inspire people to do the impossible. Deny it all you want, but Kel is training to be a knight because of _you_. You paved the road for her, but she has to find her own way, just like you did. I didn't forbid you to see her out of spite, Alanna. I did it because I saw the scorn in people's eyes when they found out you were a girl. I heard the things they said. Then I saw you rise above it and I realized that in order to be great, Kel had to rise above it just like you did. We can't leave any room for doubt when it comes to Keladry's shield. However, I know you. I'm sure you'll find some way to help her in secret."

He winked at her and finished, "I'm glad we talked Alanna. I've missed you."

With a kiss to the crown of her head, the King of Tortall left the room. In his wake was his champion, wondering just how much the king knew about Kel's secret benefactor. A minute later Alanna's husband sauntered in and found Alanna shaking her head and muttering to herself.

"Lass?"

She looked up and replied, "That man is smarter than we give him credit for."

George paused for a moment, "Jon?"

She nodded. "You worked everything out?" Another nod. He laughed and said, "Not up to anymore talking are ye? Well," He swooped down to kiss his wife, "I know of something that doesn't involve much talking at all."

Despite her threats and protests, George scooped up Alanna in his arms and took her to their rooms. The threats and protests stopped soon thereafter.


End file.
